Mask Off

“I don’t believe in dressing up reality. I don’t believe in using makeup to make things look smoother.” – Lou Reed


13 May | Sa
Mobilize | 3x
Scap press x 10
Bird dogs x 12 ea
Pope press’n’squeeze x 4 breaths
Hollow rocks x 10 [Not so good at these]

Work |[Brrr crawl]
A. Treadmill walk x 45:00
B. 4x:
Bear crawl x 20m
Reverse flys x 10 (10#)
SUs x 40

Stretch | 10:00

14 May | Su
Warm-up | 3x
Row x 1:00
KBS x 10 + SA snatch x 5 ea
Slam balls x 7

Work | [Snappy snatches]
A. Hip extension 3 x 10; Rest x as req’d
B. BB only 3 x 3 ea: Snatch-grip RDL – Row – HP snatch – BTN press – Back squat
C. HP snatch 10 x 2 (2@75, 5@85, 3@90#); Rest x 2:00
D. Cable pallof press 3 x 10 ea (30, 30, 40#)

16 May | Tu
Mobility | 3x
Wall slides x 10
GA squats x 12
Reaching dead bugs x 1:00

Work |[Why are heavy carries so fun]
A. Bike x 30:00
B. Row x 15:00 (3,450m)
C. 5x: (NFT, but 10:00 OTN)
Single-arm rack carry x 30m ea (40,45, 3 @50#)
Jump lunges x 10
Forward leaning rest x :30

Stretch | 15:00


Sa | Check. Not a huge fan of the treadmill. Or a small one. But I did it anyway. And learned about how dudes in India want their wives to breastfeed them. Fah-reaks!

we all just freaky human.gif
We’re all just a bunch of

Also, mirrors are not only great for checking your form (yep, pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve done bear crawls with my tank dropped and shins parallel to the floor), but they also make for trippy workout surveillance vids:

Su | Wasn’t sure if the hip extensions were on a machine, or the GHD. Did the latter; they are way more challenging that GHRs. Worked barbell only snatch balance and heaving snatch balance between sets on C; things felt really nice. The upper glutes *pauses to search for the proper anatomical term*… *additional pause while I feel up ma glutes*… I think the mins, maybe the meds. Yeah, those guys are sore from the include treadmill, if I had to guess.

Tu | Might have shorted myself on the carries #littlegymproblems Will verify next time that I get the right, um… stimulus.

Time Under Tension

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” -Chinese Proverb

Who you are-01
Be who you are

The Chinese, always with such intensity. I think Seth might say they fucked that one up though. (Relax! Check out all the things they got right. And Wiki doesn’t even mention Bruce Lee, weightlifting, or turning gypsum board into food.) Seth’s proverb says, “Fear is who we are. Tension is who we are becoming.

Oh man, I am becoming so hard right now! Haha. But really…


09 May | Tu
Mob it up | 3x
Wall slides + rotation x 10
Single-leg elev hip bridges x 10 ea
Popes x 15 ea

Warm-up | 3x
KBS x 10
Wall walk x 2 UB
Ring (TRX) rows x 7

Work | [Repeat]
A. RDL 7 x 5 (2@135, 5@145#); Rest x 1:00
D. Leg extensions 3 x 10 (70, 90, 90#); Rest x 1:00
C. Seated hamstring curls 3 x 10 (90, 80, 80#); Rest x 1:00
B1. DB [alternating?] bicep curls 4 x 20 ea (15#); Rest x 1:00
B2. Cable tricep push-downs x 12 (flat bar @50, rope @40, 40, 50#); Rest x 1:00

Bonus round: EMOM x 10:00, alternating:
DUs x 40
Pistols x 3 ea

Stretch | 10:00

10 May | W
Mobility | 3x
Scap press x 10
Cossack lunge x 10
Pipe press x 5 breaths
V-ups x 10

Work |
A. Cardio Z1
Row x 15:00 (3,421m)
Bike x 20:00
Row x 10:00 (2,220 m)
B. 5x: (NFT, but it took 10:00)
Step-ups x 10
Handstand holds :20-:30
FLR x 10 taps

Stretch + roll | 10:00

12 May | F
Greasin’ the groove | 3x
Pope clammies x 12 ea
GA squat x 10
Prone y raise x 10 [abs – engaged]
TVAs x 15

Work | “Shoulda”
A. 5x:
BB (only) press x 10 @33×1
Single-unders x 30 (DUs… ppppt)
KBS x 10 (45#)
B. BTN press 5 x 3 @4112 (45, 4 @55#); Rest x 2:00
C1. ½ Kneeling bottoms-up KB press 4 x 6 (20#); Right into
C2.Dip hold x :30; Rest x 1:00
D1. Single-arm cable row 3 x 6 ea @30×2 (30,30, 40, 30#); Right into
D2. Single-arm DB bench x 6 ea @2121 (30, 27.5#)

Stretch |10:00


Tu | Had to rearrange the sequence of events based on availability, but things felt really good and strong.

W | Rolled through. Felt the row in my booty instead of my back, which was a win. Everything felt good – especially the handstands >>> handstands FTW!

F | Feeling like I shoulda edged up most of the weights for this workout: heavier KB on A; gone for 60 on B; stacked a 2.5# plate on top of the KB for part C… Interesting to me that the BU KB press and SA row is harder on the left, but on the BTNs and DB bench my right side is the weak side. Hmm.

So What

“Sometimes people let the same problem make them miserable for years when they could just say, ‘So what.’ That’s one of my favorite things to say.” – Andy Warhol

what if

No words today. Just some slam bass and lyrics. Say what?!


05 May | F
Mobility | 3x
Wall slides x 10
Single-leg bird dogs x 10 ea
Wall-pressing dead bugs x 10 ea

Warm-up | 3x
KB – Swings x 5
Single-arm swings x 5 ea
Goblet squats x 3
Snatch x 3
RTW x 5 ea
RDL x 5 ea

Work |
A. TGU x 3 ea x 4 sets (45#); Rest x :30
B1. Back extensions x 10; right into
B2. RNT rev lunge x 10 ea @3111; Rest x 1:00
C. Front squat 5 x 3 @22×1 (3@115#, 2@125#); Rest x 3:00
D. Snatch-grip RDL [3] x 6 @3111 (95#); Rest x 1:30

06 May | Sa
MFR | 10:00

Mobility | 3x
Single-leg adductor squats x 8 ea (18” box)
Prone y raise x 8 (hip tuck, abs engaged)
Pope clammies x 15 ea (fire)

Work |
Bike x 10:00
5x: Row x 300m + cable tris x 10 (40#)
Bike x 10:00
5x: Row x 300m + SA DB press x 5 ea (25#) + slam ball x 7 (20#)
Bike x 10:00

07 May | Su
Mobilization | 3x
GA squats x 10 (wider stance)
Scap press x 10
Pope clammies x 12 ea
Side plank + leg lift (knee) x :20 ea

Warm-up | 3x
Row x 1:00
SA KB press x 5 ea @25#
Slam ball x 5 @ 20#

Work |
A1. TGU 3 x 3 ea (44#)
A2. GHR x 10
B. [Single-arm] Front rack KB lunge onto 45# plate 3 x 8 ea (26, 35, 44#); Rest x 1:30
C. Power snatch 10 x 2 (2@75, 3@85, 2@90, 3@95#); Rest x 2:00
D1. Kneeling BU KB press 3 x 8 ea (18#); Rest x 1:00
D2. Single-arm seated cable row X 6 ea @21×2 (30#): Rest x 1:00


F | Those get-ups added up. Really liked those reverse lunges. Front squats felt good once I stopped watching myself in the mirror and focused on feeling the movement. The footage totally revealed I was cheating the time at the bottom. Again. The RDLs were tricky with the different barbells; the gnarling is located closer to the center so there was some grip slip… All in all a decent training session; the right hip is bugging a little bit.

Sa | Spent extra time working out some spots with the foam roller and lacrosse ball. Explored a few warm-up moves from the Pope featured in this vlog:

It’s fun to see behind the curtain, all the pre-lifting work that goes down. My hip was bugging pretty good, but the mobility drills seemed to get things toasty. By the time I got to the slam balls (the hole being the test) things were moving without issue.

The last round on the bike I had company next to me; I was jamming out to some music but the dude’s stride kept catching my attention. I realized that while I had constant pressure on the pedal, he seem to bounce out of the bottom. If I drew a diagram mine would look like a circle and his would look two vertical lines going opposite one another, up then down. Interesting… still pondering, is it a learned movement pattern, compensation, lazy glutes, did he not have waffles for breakfast? These are big questions, people.

Su | Needed one of those NBA towel kids to help me out during the get-ups in the “Functional” area of Globo Mountain. Slippery suckers. Added the “single arm” to the lunges because they only had one of each weight of KBs. The snatches felt so much nicer (snappier) than last time, but I also found a 15 kilo bar, which made all the difference with the grip. Left side was sticky on the “D”…

Dirty Birds & Dollar Stores

“You know what’s better than chicken? Everything.” – Power Athlete keeping it real.

tumblr_mokibcicy91qz6f9yo1_r1_500
John Cooper Clarke, Evidently Chickentown

Recently, I was chatting with a non-gym friend about the change of my gymnasium environs from that of a CrossFit affiliate to the globo style.

He politely asked me how it was going, blind to the differences between the two, other than the Kool-aid and the mirrors. When I explained that most days I was really cool with the change of venues – recognizing the opportunities the shift in training has to offer, finding enough familiarity to hit the ground running, and appreciating ALL the amenities and ALL the cleanliness (yes, I will use your shower accouterments, towel service and sauna, thank you!) – some days, oh some days I reminisce for the warehouse. (This is where I refer to my own words on the matter.)

My friends response went something like this, “Ahhh, it’s like you’ve been a hoarder for years and you suddenly realized everything is covered in cat shit and filled with knick knacks from the dollar store.” Um… Yeah… Actually, no.

But his statement got me thinking. It is about taking a step back from what you’ve become accustomed to, and viewing what’s in front of you with fresh eyes. (Anyone else feel like they’re constantly checking themselves on that front? Anyone?) I think what my friend was trying to say is that the only difference between the two gyms, is my perception of what I believe them each to be. Man, I’ve got smart friends!

And here’s a great related read that touches on some of those old beliefs currently getting rewritten in my repertoire. Do any of them sound familiar with you?


29 Apr | Sa
Warm-up | 3x
Row x 1:00
ATYs x 5 ea
TVAs x 15

Work |
A. 5x:
BB press x 10 @33×1
Rope singles x 30
Monster walks x 10 ea
B. BTN press 4 x 5 @4112 (55 – fail on 5, 4 @50#): Rest x 2:00
C1. Half-kneeling bottoms-up KB press 4 x 6 (20#); right into
C2. Single-arm front rack carry x 20m ea (40, 3 @45#)
D1. [Single-arm?] DB snatch 3 x 6 (30, 35, 40#); right into
D2.Single arm bench @2121 (25, 30 – fail on 4R, 27.5# – fail on 6R)

Stretch | 10:00

30 Apr | Su
Warm-up | 3x
Row x 1:00
Slam balls x 5
DUs x 20

Work |
A. Power clean singles x 10 (135, 135, 140, 140, 145, 140#…)
B. Clean pulls 4 x 3 (175, 185#…); Rest x 3:00
C1. Cable pallof 4 x 10 ea (40, 45#…); right into
C2. FLR x :30

Stretch | 10:00

04 May | Th
Mobilize | 3x
GA squats x 10 ea
Elbow plank + fwd reach x 10 ea
Rev curl-ups x 10

Work | “Burns + Grows” [fave]
A. Bike x 20:00
B. Row x 10:00
C. 5x: Goblet squats x 6 @33×1(35#)
Jump lunge x 10 (ea)
Bear crawl x 20m [sub: FLR x :30]

Full stretch | 20:00


Sa | Conducted some pre-workout research regarding the tempo work, as I needed a refresher. Notes resulting from research – some shit just ain’t for keyboards:

tempo is for sketching
Did I get it correct? Sure felt correct

Hope I didn’t fuck up the tempo work. Was still a total tard with the single-under coordination…

Totally cracked myself up attempting them. Right side was sticky with the BTN’s. Dropped down to fiddy so I didn’t do the neck strain thing. Bottoms-up is humbling; watching the footage, looks like I could improve my technique, keeping my elbow in alignment.

Su | The power cleans felt off; slow elbows, which isn’t normally an issue. The pulls felt good. Dug the pallofs and plank action. Footage reveals I need to commit to the lunge on the pallofs; was doing more of a quarter squat thing.

Th | Holy crap that part “C” was fun times. Looks like I could get lower in the lunge on the jumping lunges as well as work on keeping my body in vertical alignment – no lean. Wanted to go heavier on the KB but still some weird shit going on at the bottom on my right side, and the 35#er allowed me to do the movement minus the weird shit. Subbed the FLR for the crawls as the alley way behind the benches was occupied by bros. Would really like to give this a shot with the crawls in the future.

RSN – that’s acronym for Random Site Note – the crew at BBS totally featured battle ropes this week – something I’ve seen a ton of at the new gym… Curious.

Better Meat

“If you can’t beat ‘em, eat ‘em” – Jeffrey Dahmer

better meat.jpg
R. Crumb illustrates “cardio”

Robb Wolf is making the podcast rounds promo-ing his new book, Wired To Eat – which is currently on my coffee table waiting to be consumed. His chat with The Aussies pulled ahead of the pack by one of their standard closing question: If you could interview anyone (alive) who would it be? Wolf’s response: a tag team interview with Jenna Jameson and Jane Goodall. So paleo.

But seriously, the books sounds like an interesting read, or listen – for the duration of a 45-minute stint on a bike, perhaps. It even features some hands-on testing! Everyone’s favorite subject: but what about me?

If you are not amused by the ‘meat’ pic… Scram! Just kidding. Here’s one that involves more of the protein you’ll actually eat. Like chew. And swallow – for the gainz. Click the image source to check the whole article. Knowledge is power. And power takes up more than half a bike seat.

better protein.jpg
“More Protein, Better Protein” by Diana Rogers, RD, of Sustainable Dish

And if all that’s nice, but you’re hungry for some fitspo, I got you. Courtesy of Jocko:


26 Apr | Tu
Mobility | 3x
Wall slides x 10
Banded clammies x 15 ea
TVAs x 15

Work | “Cardio Glaze” – makes ya high like a donut
Bike x 10:00
5x: Row x 300m + push-ups x 10
Bike x 10:00
5x: Row x 300m + Chinese row x 5 ea (25#) + jump lunges x 20
Bike x 10:00

Stretch sesh | Quit yer bitchin’, Sara!

27 Apr | Th
Mobility | 3x
Single-leg elev hip bridge x 10 ea
Side plank + leg lift (still with the knee) x :20 ea
Reaching dead bugs x 1:00

Work | “Observations”
A1. SL hip bridge hold 3 x :30 ea; Right into
A2. TGU x 3 (45#); Rest x 1:00
B1. Hip extensions 3 x 12 (25, 20, 10#); Right into
B2. Rev lunge x 5 ea (30, 25, 25#)
C. Deadlift 5 x 3 (185, 4 @195#); Rest x 3:00
D1. Box step-ups x 10 ea; Right into
D2. DUs x 40

28 Apr | F
Mobility | 3x
Cossack lunge x 8
Prone Y raise x 10
Glute press x 10

Work | “Whiskey Dick”
A. Bike x 45:00
B. 5x:
Handstand hold x :30
Jump rope x 30 singles
Quad hip extension hold x :20 ea
Step-ups x 10 ea (18”)


Tu | Didn’t want to show up. But I did – and got really into it.  I see what you did there – mixing up the bike with the rows. Was really happy with how the push-ups felt. Tried to not let my quads touch the floor which seemed to help keep me in position. The rows felt retarded on my left side – on my right I can fill the muscles engage in sequence – not the case on my left side. Feels like I am pulling from my trap and neck. My low-back began to bug the last 2 rounds of rowing. 

I still experience the occasional “what the fuck is going on here” moments at the globo…

okaaay
Start

But increasingly feelings like this cat in a bowl…

ya own bowl
Finish

Played around with some wall stands and position work during the stretch. Couldn’t help but listen in on a PT sesh during my stretch. Sara – I’m pretty sure no ‘h’ – prefers whining to working.

Th | I think I got “A” wrong – ended up doing 18 TGUs in total. Is that right? I’d pulled the 50# KB anticipating doing the last round with that, but fuuuuuh no! The hip extensions with weight got heavy fast; really felt them in my very low back. My right hammie was bugging a little throughout the workout. Were the step-ups supposed to be weighted? Noticed I was doing the pike thing whilst jumping rope. I feel like there’s a little kink in the chain somewhere…

F | Decided to name the workouts for fun times. Today’s is named thus as sitting on that bike for 45:00 puts my crotch to sleep… but also makes me sweaty. Felt a little self-conscious on the handstands at the globo (seriously it’s a little strange with the game crowds there) but focused on my own shit and did the work. Totally couldn’t do single jumps with the rope! Haha! Forgot to film, so no off-your-seat footage to share.

Witness Marks

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” – Kurt Vonnegut

cmorey-entangledwonders-greywolf-1-1_orig
Delicate Dependencies by Crystal Morey

Recently got my grill shined up. The dental hygienist – who’s been cleaning people’s teeth for 34 years – asked how old I was when I wore braces. I asked how she could tell, because it sure isn’t perfect alignment of my teeth (No, I don’t wanna reel that one in! Stop asking #flavorsaver) She said there were subtle marks where the wires had subtly scored my teeth. It got me thinking about people, and how we are an accumulation of witness marks. It makes me curious about what people pick up on. And who we pretend to be.


22 Apr | Sa
Mobility | 3x
Glute press x 10
Wall slides x 10
Elbow plank + side reach x 10 ea

Warm-up | 3x
Row x 1:00
OH walking lunges x 16
DUs x 20

Work |
A. Single-leg glute bridge hold x :30; Rest x 1:00 btwn legs
B. Back squat 4 x 5 @22×1 (125, 3 @130#); Rest x 3:00
C1. Pull-up 4 x 10 (3 @60, 70# of assistance); Rest x 1:00
C2. Dip x 10 (see C1 notes); Rest x 1:00
D. Bike x 20:00

Stretch | 15:00

23 Apr | Su
Warm-up | Row x 500m
Kettlebell swings

Work | First workout at Marina Heights!
A. Power snatch [light and fast] 10 x 2 (85#); Rest x 2:00
B. Clean pulls @110 % 3 x 3 (175#); Rest x 2:00
C1. Leg extensions 4 x 15 (65#); Rest x 1:00
C2 [Seated] Hamstring curls x 10 (3@110, 120#); Rest x 1:00

24 Apr | M
Pre-warm-up-for-all-the-hyphens | 3x
Bird dogs x 10 ea
Slow-like-old-people-fucking scap presses x 10
Reverse curl-ups x 10

Warm-up | 3x
KBS x 10
DUs x 30

Work | [from the archives]
A1. Front squats 10 x 2 (125#); Rest x 1:00
A2. Wall runs x :30 (10 ea): Rest x 1:00
B1. Single-leg KB RDLs x 10 ea (50#); Rest x 1:00 btwn legs
B2. KB snatch x 5 ea (35, 3 @40#); Rest x 1:00
C. 5x: KBS x 15 + DUs x 30 [for time]

Stretch | 15:00


Sa | Hip bridge holds are no joke. And make for edge-of-your-seat video footage. But seriously, try them and see how good you are at keeping your hips level. The back squats were fun with a mirror. Not sure the last set was “x1” out the bottom… or a full 2-count either. The pull-up machine is gonna lead to some gainz, I am sure of it.

Su | New places of soreness in the lats and booty today.

Had fun testing the barbell at the globo, thank you. Felt super weak with the snatches until it occurred to me that I was using a 20 kilo barbell. Ahh. The fifth set finally felt nice and smooth and fast like they’re intended to be. The pulls felt slow but seemed okay via instant replay, so I stayed at 175#. The machines at Marina Heights are a little different than the ones at the ball park; your seat moves with the contraction. Check out the rocketship.

The leg extensions were SO intense after the barbell work; the curls less so. Also, Marina Heights has stall bars… Forgot to check on the sled.

M | Kinda weird working out at the ball park when there’s a game going on – think fishbowl. The whole place breathes a roar when the plays are good. The modern Colosseum. Rolled through the workout. Cut out “C” due to time restrictions. Lame.

Feeling chubby in the middle; time to reel in the eats and unplug.

Auto Create

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.” – Albert Einstein

obvious moose-01

obvious moose-01-01
[Top] My drawing of a moose. Obviously! [Bottom] Indeed. An AutoDraw interpretation of my creation. The AI knows me better than I know myself

Dear 2017, I am totally digging all the unfolding information you’re putting forth on consciousness. Is it just me or does it seem like that arena is expanding in leaps? Eh. Maybe it’s just my own timeline for crossing the threshold – like the new gym digs, and soon-to-be new work digs. Check out this article on creativity and consciousness. Have you heard of the big five personality traits? I had not. To which of the five do you gravitate most?

On gravity, I’m seriously into the visuals in this vid about, hmm, creating in space:

Space Sex is Serious Business from Tom McCarten on Vimeo.


17 Apr | M
Mobility | 2x
Wall slides x 10
Single-leg elevated hip bridges x 10 ea
Elbow plank + fwd tap x 10 ea

Work | “Cardio”
Bike x 15:00
Row x 15:00 (3475m)
-then-
5x:
Wall-facing handstand holds x :20 (oops – did :30)
[OHW] lunges x 20
DUs x 20

Stretch | 20:00

19 Apr | W
Mobility | 3x
Wall slides x 10
Single-leg elevated hip bridges x 10 ea
TVAs x 15

Warm-up | 2x
KBS – single-arm – snatch – RDL x 5 ea
DUs x 30
Pistols x 3 ea

Work |
A1. DB RDLs 5 x 8 (4 @55#, 6-fuck that dude stole the 60’s… 65#)
Rest x 1:00
A2. Captain Morgans x 20
Rest x 1:00
B. Seated cable rows 4 x 10 (60, 70 rep 7, 60, 60#); Rest x 1:00
C. 5x:
GHR x 10
DUs x 30
FLR x :30

Bonus round: Bike x 20:00

20 Apr | Th
Pre-Warm-up | 3x
Bird dogs x 10 ea
Scap press x 10
Reaching dead bug x 5 ea + 5

Warm-up | 3x
KBS – snatch – goblet – round the’s – RDL x 5 ea

Work | [From the archives #butglobo]
A. Back squat 7 x 2 (145#); Rest x 2:00
B1. Death march x 10 (30# DBs); Right into
B2. [Cable] Tricep push-downs (40# – rope grip); Right into
B3. Row x 250m (59, 57, 58, 57, 55s); Rest x 1:00
C. Laying hamstring curls 3 x 10 (50#); Rest x 1:00


M | Mondays are prime time at the globo. The warm-up/mobility area was crowded. Gotta find another corner to pull some warm-up antics in; I am certain I can do that. Biking for 15:00 – no sweat. Well, sweat, yes, but nothing like rowing for 15:00. The low back bugged around minute 8:00; proceeded with caution and all feels well today. Fingers crossed there’s no new signage up regarding wall walks…

W | Doing DUs with the gym’s featherweight ropes is tricky, but that’s cool. Having straps and a rope with me allowed me to take up all the floor space for the Captains. This was the GHD version I used:

45_Degree_Hyper_Extension_Bench.jpg
A roman chair – pairs well with the helmet, I wonder 

But next time I am totally gonna try these:

the very good girls
Do we call thees the really good girls, or the gym gems…?

Th | Warmed up, then explored the hack squat machine. Decided to try out the squat rack. Had to adjust my step-back a teeensy bit, but mostly found it awesome to have a mirror straight ahead. Thank you Mountainside Fitness for your “Look Jacked” lighting package. The squats felt good, a little heavy, but that’s to be expected. Fought for that last round on the erg; machine calibration or what – last time I did this workout I was right around fiddy-five seconds for all five rounds. Wrapped up with the laying hammie machine… Holy Fuck. My strangs have not experienced this level of fire in memory.

Back in the groove with the time-restricted eating window. Feeling the fast.