Witness Marks

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” – Kurt Vonnegut

Delicate Dependencies by Crystal Morey

Recently got my grill shined up. The dental hygienist – who’s been cleaning people’s teeth for 34 years – asked how old I was when I wore braces. I asked how she could tell, because it sure isn’t perfect alignment of my teeth (No, I don’t wanna reel that one in! Stop asking #flavorsaver) She said there were subtle marks where the wires had subtly scored my teeth. It got me thinking about people, and how we are an accumulation of witness marks. It makes me curious about what people pick up on. And who we pretend to be.

22 Apr | Sa
Mobility | 3x
Glute press x 10
Wall slides x 10
Elbow plank + side reach x 10 ea

Warm-up | 3x
Row x 1:00
OH walking lunges x 16
DUs x 20

Work |
A. Single-leg glute bridge hold x :30; Rest x 1:00 btwn legs
B. Back squat 4 x 5 @22×1 (125, 3 @130#); Rest x 3:00
C1. Pull-up 4 x 10 (3 @60, 70# of assistance); Rest x 1:00
C2. Dip x 10 (see C1 notes); Rest x 1:00
D. Bike x 20:00

Stretch | 15:00

23 Apr | Su
Warm-up | Row x 500m
Kettlebell swings

Work | First workout at Marina Heights!
A. Power snatch [light and fast] 10 x 2 (85#); Rest x 2:00
B. Clean pulls @110 % 3 x 3 (175#); Rest x 2:00
C1. Leg extensions 4 x 15 (65#); Rest x 1:00
C2 [Seated] Hamstring curls x 10 (3@110, 120#); Rest x 1:00

24 Apr | M
Pre-warm-up-for-all-the-hyphens | 3x
Bird dogs x 10 ea
Slow-like-old-people-fucking scap presses x 10
Reverse curl-ups x 10

Warm-up | 3x
KBS x 10
DUs x 30

Work | [from the archives]
A1. Front squats 10 x 2 (125#); Rest x 1:00
A2. Wall runs x :30 (10 ea): Rest x 1:00
B1. Single-leg KB RDLs x 10 ea (50#); Rest x 1:00 btwn legs
B2. KB snatch x 5 ea (35, 3 @40#); Rest x 1:00
C. 5x: KBS x 15 + DUs x 30 [for time]

Stretch | 15:00

Sa | Hip bridge holds are no joke. And make for edge-of-your-seat video footage. But seriously, try them and see how good you are at keeping your hips level. The back squats were fun with a mirror. Not sure the last set was “x1” out the bottom… or a full 2-count either. The pull-up machine is gonna lead to some gainz, I am sure of it.

Su | New places of soreness in the lats and booty today.

Had fun testing the barbell at the globo, thank you. Felt super weak with the snatches until it occurred to me that I was using a 20 kilo barbell. Ahh. The fifth set finally felt nice and smooth and fast like they’re intended to be. The pulls felt slow but seemed okay via instant replay, so I stayed at 175#. The machines at Marina Heights are a little different than the ones at the ball park; your seat moves with the contraction. Check out the rocketship.

The leg extensions were SO intense after the barbell work; the curls less so. Also, Marina Heights has stall bars… Forgot to check on the sled.

M | Kinda weird working out at the ball park when there’s a game going on – think fishbowl. The whole place breathes a roar when the plays are good. The modern Colosseum. Rolled through the workout. Cut out “C” due to time restrictions. Lame.

Feeling chubby in the middle; time to reel in the eats and unplug.


Mortal Wounds

“As a society you can defend yourself against all outside enemies, but you’re completely vulnerable to one mad man in your midst.” – Sebastian Junger

Corsican Vendetta Knife – “May all your wounds be mortal”

Dan Carlin – Disengaging the Lizard Brain

11 June | Sa
Warm-up | Enter gymnasium + move your mouth

Work | O-Lifting
Clean + Jerk 10 x 3 @ 65-70% (2 @95#,8 @105#)
Rack Pull 4 x 3 (3 @205, 235#)
3 sets:
Split Squats x 8-10 (8,8,10 @45#)
Box Jump x 3
Pull-ups 3 x AMRAP (.75 under, .75 over, body rows – release + reengage e’ery rep)

Handstands | 15:00
Stretch | 15:00

10 June | F
Mobility | 3x
Banded Clammies x 12 ea
P$’s Side Ab Things x :30
Calf Raises x 40 ea variety (2)
Scap Press x 8 @ 5s

Warm up |3x
Row x 1:00
Chinese Row x 10 (15#ers)
SL BB DLs x 5 ea

Work |Hip Thrusts 4 x 10 (95,115,135,145#; start around here next time)
Rest x 2:00
Zercher Reverse Lunges 3 x 6 ea (85,85,95#)
Rest x 1:00 between sides
Gladiator TGUs x 10:00 (worked up to 25#)

F | I was interested to see how the Gladiator TGUs went because (a) new movement and (b) I am currently unable to hold a side plank with a leg lift without going to my knee. They were really fun! Awkward getting up after you turn over, but bracing in the leg-lifted position with a loaded arm seems easier than in a standard, unloaded side plank. Hmmm…?

Sa | Worked on positioning on the jerks, not reaching with the leg that goes back, and getting low. Rack pulls were cool;we’ll see what Sunday reveals. The split squat into box jump combo was insane! Really thought I was gonna eat box on that first rep. Didn’t. Pull-up attempts = lots of motivation for all the rowing reps in my future.

Going through an old workout journal and came across this amazingly life-like booty sketch:

sketching skills
Man, I really captured the Booty 5000 goals there. Also present: some interesting/funny notes on programming/coaching #whenyourcoachkeepsitreal


Blue Zones

“In soft regions are born soft men.” – Herodotus

Because a quote like that demands a lion

Found this TED talk about longevity to be really interesting, particularly the customs they follow in Okinawa – “ikigai” and Moai.

And here’s one about lions:

25 May | Monday
Warm-up | 4 rds:
DUs x20
Mobility Moves
Wall balls x10

Workout | Back Squat x6 sets
Rest x3:00 btwn
5 @ 135#
4 @ 140
3 @ 145
2 @ 150
1 @ 155
AMPRAP @ 135# (just 5)
– then –
3 rounds:
Front squats x6 @ 100#
Rest x1:00
KBS x10 (44#)
Rest x1:00
GHD sit-ups 3×10
Rest x1:00

Stretch + MFR | 25:00

24 May | Sunday
Active Rest Day
Geronimo Trail | +/- 4 miles

23 May | Saturrrrday
Mobility | 15:00

Workout | 10:00 of work: (5+200)
Run x200m
Power snatch x5 @65#
– Rest x5:00 –
8:00 of work: (3+15)
AD x15 cals
KB front rack lunge x10 steps (26ers)
Banded rows x10
– Rest x4:00 –
6:00 of work: (28)
AMRAP DU’s in sets of 10

Stretch | 25:00

22 May | Friday
Warm-up | 3 rds:
Wall balls x10
SA press x4 ea
Walking lunges x10
DUs x25

Workout | Back squat 3 x10 reps @ 95#
Rest x3:00
– then –
Single-arm press x8 ea (26#)
Rest x1:00
Banded pull-ups x5
Rest x2:00
– then –
GH raise 3 x6-8 (6,8,8)
Rest x1:00

Stretch | 20:00

21 May | Thursday
Rest Day

Nothing to report on Friday’s sesh. 

I was a little intimidated for the first portion of Saturday’s workout – with the running. (Get stronger, build the base. Repeat.) Having re-approached following the hip injury, and working on building strength and proper movement patterns, I’ve gotten used to getting barbell winded. I’m calling it that because, architect, not coach. But you know what I mean, right? Anyway, back to Saturday. The winded I got felt good. And front rack lunges are tough! 

Checked out a new-to-me trail on South Mountain Sunday. With low traffic and fun terrain, I’ll be seeing more of you next weekend, Geronimo! 

Squat Monday went smoothly, though I didn’t get many reps in on the AMPRAP. Things felt fine, just heavy. Heavy things sometimes feel heavy. Crazy! Added some GHD sit-ups for fun. Mostly I just wanted to see my muscles flex. What?

ahnold says it's okay
Ahnold understands


The Extremes

“Nothing could be dimmer than those torches, which allow us not to pierce the darkness, but to see it.” – Seneca

roman glass
“A fragment of Roman glass dating back to the 3rd century is among the trove of artifacts found on the Vindolanda settlement.” Click on the image for the source story

I came across that incredible quote in my latest read, Roman Honor: The Fire in the Bones by Carlin A BartonThe book is fantastic, really intense. It covers so much territory, I am going to have to read it a second time through just to pick up all the footnotes.

Another item on my reading list this week was this article. It struck a chord with me, and my quest to build a booty. It’s good to be reminded that those perfectly plump glutei blowing up my feed take a lot of work, dedication, time, and some serious genetic luck.

“Ultimately, expecting an extreme end-of-scale outcome from moderate scale effort isn’t realistic.” -Alexander Cortes, The Fit Chick Reality

I appreciate a nice can as much as the next person and it’s awesome to have some inspiration, but in the end (I’m so punny) I don’t want my whole world to revolve around any part of my flesh vessel. Well, that sounds pervy. As is the case with the Romans, the truth lies in the middle…

“And so, for the ancient Romans, honor pivoted on the Heroic Middle… Aurea mediocritas was not the timid restraint, the joyless surrender to conventionality of the modern bourgeois, nor was it an excuse for complacency or inactivity. On the contrary, in the Roman mind, moderation was a sort of firebreak against the conflagration of ambition and passion that threatened at all times to engulf the commonwealth.” -Carlin A Barton, Roman Honor: The Fire in the Bones

Romans and competition booty – that’s quite a pairing. But, it’s good to be well-rounded, both in history and in the glutei.

20 May | Wednesday
Warm-up | 3 rds:
Wall ball x10
Walking lunges x10
KBS x10
Mobility moves

Workout | Power clean 4 x3 (95, 105, 115, 125#)
Pause x:02 at catch
Reset btwn reps
Rest x1:00 btwn sets
– then –
Power clean 4 x1 (130, 135, 135, 140#)
Pause x:02 at catch
Reset btwn reps
Rest x1:00 btwn sets
– then –
Power clean 4 x3 reps (1251330, 125, 125#)
Pause x:02 at catch
Reset btwn reps
Rest x1:00 btwn sets
– then –
BB Hip bridge 4 sets x10 (95, 115, 125, 125#)
Rest x1:00

Stretch & some foam rolling | 30:00

19 May | Tuesday

Workout | 4 sets:
Bench press x5 (75, 75, 80, 80, 85#)
right into
Banded chin ups x5 tough reps
Rest x2:00
– then –
4 rounds:
Row x300m
Burpee x5

18 May | Monday
Warm-up | 3 rds:
Row x:45
Walking lunges x10
DUs x20
Wall walk x1

Workout | Back squats
Rest x3:00 btwn sets
5 reps @ 115#
4 @115#
3 @125#
2 @130#
1 @135#
AMRAP @110# (15)
– then –
KB lunge 3 sets x10 steps ea (26# KBs)
Rest x1:30

The squats felt heavy Monday; I was thankful for the lighter prescribed weight. Took a vid of the AMRAP set since I failed at it last week. Am I getting low enough on those squats? Maybe it’s just that the camera was at ass level, but I was thinking they may be a teensy bit shallow.

Not sure that I did the lunges correctly, as I used two KBs. But they were definitely challenging. Felt ’em Tuesday (and the squats, too) in the booty region. E’erytime! Success. The single leg work is still harder on the right side than on the left, but that’s improving. Rock on single leg work.

two hands

Tuesday bee-inch was good to go, though I may have had to eek out that last rep. But I did it. Failed on the fifth chin-up of the last three sets, getting about midway and then just not able to finish the job. But I didn’t have the elbow tension that I’ve experienced the last few times I’ve done them. So… upside. Think I fucked up that last segment of the workout. There seemed to be an extra multiplier in my email. If this were a math quiz, the options for interpretation would have been:

A) 4[3(300+5)]

B) 4(300+5)

C) 4[(3×300)+5]

D) None of the above

I chose B, because everyone knows that you go with B or C when you guess on multiple choice. (And C was still a shit ton of rowing, which I wasn’t feeling up to.)  It felt good to breathe hard(er) and get a bit uncomfy. Ooh, the aerobic base needs some work, for sure.

Power Clean Wednesday, I believe I went a little too heavy, too fast. That last round of cleans was rough. I managed, but stuck at 125#. The BB hip bridges felt good – SO MUCH SQUEEZING.

Some insights after just a week or so of checking myself before I wreck myself:

  • I am definitely not a Moderator. I know this, but then, it’s good to be reminded.
  • I am amazed YET AGAIN at how much better and clear headed I feel, just by getting rid of that bit of junk I had sneaked back onto my plate.
  • When you don’t sip espresso all day, the one ‘Mericano you do have in the morning tastes fucking amazing!


D is for Demo(lish)

“The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust

“D” is also for “Discovery”. Or “Dumb-ass,”, if you are, for instance, a person who reads your emails like this:


Sometimes, I really want to murder those people. Here’s the thing, if you want to waste your own time, that’s cool, Consulting Engineer. But when you start wasting mine, that’s when we’re gonna have issues. And when I take the time to compose a thoughtful, concise email with a list of very specific questions and you come back at me with bullshit, well, we are gonna have words. Who’s with me?

And sometimes ranting is fun. Know what else is fun? It might begin with “D”…

… I digress. Have you ever wondered what the story is of that fenced-off church on the Northeast corner of 16th Street and Buckeye Road? I sure have. Apparently that whole area, know as the Golden Gate Barrio, was demolished, taken over via eminent domain, to accommodate the Sky Harbor expansion. Interesting. And sad. You can read about it  here. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot about it online, which makes me want to dig a little deeper…

23 April | Thursday
Got-the-whole-nasium-to-myself Day

Warm-up | 4 rounds:
Row x:45
Wall balls x10
Sit-ups x10

Work | Negative pull-up holds 3×7
@ :03 at the top & :03 to lower (Would that be 33_0? Last two sets just 5 reps)
Rest 2:00 btwn sets
– then –
Back squat 5×5 @105#
Rest 2:00 btwn sets
– then –
3 sets x300m row for time (1:09, 1:06, 1:05)
Rest 1:00 btwn ea

Stretching – foam-rolling – handstands | 35:00

22 April | Wednesday
Rest/Maybe-I-have-bronchitis Day

21 April | Tuesday
Rooting-for-the-asteroid Day

Workout | 30:00 EMOM!
1st min: Bench Press x3 (80#) + DUs x20
2nd min: Power snatch – hang snatch – OHS (65#)
3rd min: KBS x10 (53#)

Soft Tissue + Stretch | 30:00

Woohoo! A whole gym to myself. With my playlist. But first, a selfie.

With ALL the filters

Okay, negative pull-up holds… not my wheelhouse. First set I eeked out 7 reps, but the remaining two only got 5 quality ones in there. Used underhand grip, but shit is still tight on my right side – not painful – just hard to grip the bar with my right hand. Need to stay on top of my mobility work and rolling out my rotator cuff on that side.

The back squats felt light. And good. Not sure if I bugged that ol’ lady hip of mine on the hike Sunday or what but I am having gentle flashback sensations on that right glute and adductor. Not while squatting, just in general. Man, I want to delete those words as I write them… But telling lies won’t make it any less true. Here is the last set of cinco on the BS:

The row felt good. On the second round I used my normal technique (which I know is too short on the recovery). Then on the third I tried the pull-like-a-mother-bitch…. slowly recover… pull-like-a-mother-bitch… slowly recover… repeat. That last method kicked my effing ass! Anyway, I really wanted to see if i could get under a minute. I could not. At least not this time.

And fo dat sub-1:45 row pace

Wednesday I didn’t feel so hot. The upside? Raspy voice, which makes for awesome shower singing. And, as Jennifer pointed out, voicemail messages. I’m on it!

Tuesday was the first time in quite some time doing snatch and OH and it felt good! I’d like to get accustomed to using the 45# barbell when I snatch (because, you know, I do it so often) so I used that guy. It definitely feels different than the training bar. Tried Marianne’s Method of the KBS and have a whole new appreciation for her speed and control. Upped the size of the KB and wouldn’t cha know it wasn’t impossible. Bye bye, blue KB, hello red.

Here is my rearview…

not that rear view
If only! It would be “no shorts”, not just “short shorts”, Fridays if that were true.

No sir, this rearview:

04-23 rearview-01
Way less exciting. Just add chalk…?