Just Jokes


21-24 Aug | F – Su
Off the grid-ish

20 Aug | Th
Travel Day:
3 mile dog-walk
45DNC (10)
Protein Count: 118g

19 Aug | W
Warm-up | DUs + Mobility moves

Work | Snatch + OHS:
1×4 @ 65% (55#)
1×3 @ 70% (65#)
4X3 @ 75% (75#)
Snatch Pull:
1×4 @100% (105#)
4×3 @ 110% (115#)
Front Squat:
1×5 @ 70% (115#)
1×3 @ 75% (125#)
1×3 @ 80% (135#)
3×2 @ 85% (140#)

Stretch | 20:00
45DNC (10)
Protein Count: 160g

18 Aug | Tu
Warm-up | 3 rounds
Press x10
DB reverse fly’s x10
DU’s x30

Work | 4 rounds:
Single-arm press x8 ea (26# KB)
Rest x1:00
Chin-over-bar hold x:17 (:20 intervals)
Rest x2:00
4 rounds:
Farmer’s walk around the gym (53# KBs)
Right into
Good mornings x10 (65,65,75,75#)
Rest x2:00
– and then –
DU’s x400 for time (8:07)

Stretch Class
45DNC (10)
Protein: 151g

17 Aug | M
6:00 Class
MFR | 6:00
Warm-up | 3 rounds:
Wall balls x10
DUs x20
OH Walking Lunges x10

Work | Power Clean 5×3 (115,125,135,130,130#)
Rest x3:00 btwn sets
Back Squat 3×5 @80% (115,125,135#)
Rest x3:00 btwn sets

Stretch | 20:00
45DNC (10)
Protein count: 143g

16 Aug | Su
Rest Day:
Dog walks
Deprivation Dip
Stretch +MFR
45DNC (10)
Protein: 101g

Sunday | My first experience in the deprivation tank was awesome. The sensation in the water is so amazing; the water is a little warmer than body temp so the line between where your body starst and ends  is blurry. The water almost becomes an extension of yourself. In a nutshell: completely effortless skinny dipping in a blanket of darkness.

Had a “cheat”. Hot sauce counts as a vegetable right?

Monday | Partnered up with Matty Nice for his last workout at DTP before heading to the SF. Everything felt great. I wasn’t moving as well as I can, but the sleep has been off, so we’ll chalk it up to that.

Tuesday | Crabby AF. Gymnasium time helped resolve that. I stuck with the 26# KB on the SA Press; when I tried going up to the 30# DB my form got shitty. COBs felt solid so I went with :20 holds. Only a little bit of tightness in the right bicep, but nothing compared to what it’s been in the past. Not sure about the Buenos Dias. Thought about my ass, but felt it most in my hammies and abs. Started with sets of 40 on the DUs but after two sets of that I broke it down in 20s.

Wednesday | No glute soreness from the good mornings. Noted. Am still amazed at how O-lifting makes me feel.  Love it.

Thursday | Travel day. We’ll see how I do when I take the  45DNC on the road…

Off-the-grid-ish | Based on my trip last month and then again this past weekend, it seems not moving is the absolute worst. My low back is sooo tight. I worked to walked, stand and move when the opportunity presented itself, but it’s crazy how what you surround yourself with, you become.

And, in conclusion, I will rant a bit…

Dear family, friends, and strangers,
I do not want nor care to hear your feedback on what I put in my mouth. The commentary, whether outright or tucked into some snide remark – the one about McDonalds for breakfast just keeps getting funnier – all of it is annoying and really pathetic. I am happy to answer your questions, but don’t put your shit on me.                       




More Freaky Humans

“If you want to win anything — a race, your self, your life — you have to go a little berserk.” -George Sheehan

Ali and I were chatting about how CrossFit has evolved as it’s popularity has grown, from a novice perspective. It’s awesome that more people are checking out CrossFit, but I think the Kool-Aid has become a little watered down. A few years ago it was my experience that CrossFit involved a community of people supporting one another in bettering themselves. Period.

Now I’m not saying that community is gone – one of the many things that makes DTP so fantastic is it’s sense of community. But it appears that many noobs aren’t picking up on the “lifestyle” message. I know people who have “gone Paleo” or “do CrossFit” now, but what they mean is they are “on-yet-another-diet” and “get-really-sweaty-for-an-hour” with all other factors remaining the same – no thought on the bigger picture. There’s a difference between “minimum effective dose” and “how can I cheat the system”. Where do you draw the line? I’ll hold myself to a higher standard in the gym, but as soon as I step out the door it’s business as usual…?

its my blog I make the rules
I realize I’m making some broad generalizations, but my blog, my rules.

The latest promo video attempts to make that connection between gym and life, although I think they missed the mark. They don’t succeed in demonstrating how flipping tires or performing toes-to-bar don’t merely, in their own works, make you a better tire flipper. How about squatting down to pick up a child and bag of groceries or loading a 45# bag of dog food from the shelf to you shoulder – no cart required. While I understand that not all training translates in such an obvious way, if you’re trying convince a population of people without exposure to this methodology shouldn’t you speak their language? The promo clip is pretty motivational and bad-ass, but it tastes of fitspo, which I despise like decaf. And you can keep your ripped, bloody hands.

29 January | Pre-Friday

Mobility | 15:00

Training | 10:00 of work @ consistent pace: (5 rds)
200m run
Bench press x5 (75#)
Du’s x20

4:00 rest

10:00 @ consistent pace: (3 rds +14)
Box jump step down x10
Renegade row x10 total reps (15# DBs)
AD x20 cals

4:00 rest

10:00 @ consistent pace: (3 rds +15)
KB snatch x5 ea (35#)
Knees to elbows x5 (floor)
200m run

Stretch | 20:00

28 January | Wednesday

Chattin’ whilst Rollin’  | 20:00

Warm-up | 3 rounds NFT:
10 Wall Balls
10 OH Walking Lunges
:45 Row

Training | Back squat w/ 3:00 rest btwn sets:
1.  5 reps @ 100#
2.  4 @ 105#
3.  3 @ 115#
4.  2 @ 120#
5.  1 @ 125#
6.  AMRAP @ 100# (13)

– then –

3 Sets:
Single leg RDL x8 ea. (35# KB)
1:00 rest
Box step ups x8 ea. (45, 50, 55#)
right into
1:00 Row

GB Handstand Challenge | Day 9 Knee Control (30 reps)
S2HS practice

Stretch | 20:00

Wednesday’s back squat workout was interesting – a couple focal points were spotting straight ahead rather than looking at the floor and keeping my arms close to my body, using my elbows to keep my chest from falling forward, driving up. I think I could have eeked out a couple more reps. I tend to “save some” for the rest of the workout. 

As I write this, I am not experiencing the second-day delayed muscles soreness that usually follows RDLs and step-ups. So next time I’ll try the RDLs using the 44# KB and start with a heavier weight on the barbell for the step-ups. In the past I hadn’t used a 45# plate at the base because the ridges in the plate made me a little uncomfortable (waaaah!). I didn’t understand that you want the hip above the knee in the start position – to get those glutes engaged rather than the quad, I am guessing… Anyway, that start position really changed how these felt. The right side still feels weaker than the left, as my knee wants to fall in when I step up. But I’m aware of this, and it’s improving. So, yay progress. (And was there supposed to be a rest after the row??? I took 2:00… Pppt…)

Thursday was “running in the rain” day and that was awesome. It felt good to run. I dropped to my knees on the push-up portion of the renegade row (continuous movement) but planked out on the row itself, being mindful of the hip position. I also modified the knees to elbow to the floor version ’cause that hanging action bugs the shoulder. Must get that looked at now that the insurance has reset for the year. 2014 – Year of the Hip. 2015- Year of the Shoulder.

Work was really stressful. And nothing makes the espresso taste better.


Text Neck

look fucking up
Today I had a conversation with my boss. It was less of a conversation and more of brain dump on my part, as he spent the duration of it nodding his head and scrolling through his blackberry, while I talked aloud to myself and refined my ‘WTF’ face. Perhaps, I find it all so annoying because I’m guilty of it too; habitually scrolling through Instagram without a second thought. (Deleting Facebook from my iPhone has proven to be a solid decision.) How many of us have been out to dinner with friends and looked up to find everyone has gone on a social media break, checking out from the face to face conversation to check-in with the curated presentation of our “friends” lives. This series of photographs on Death of Conversation captures it all so well. What are these evil little devices doing to our personal relationships? To our kids? And to our bodies?

08 December | Monday
6:00 class

Warm up | 3 rounds:
10 Wall balls
10 walking lunges OH PVC
5 push ups
5 ring rows

Back Squat Wave Load | 3 sets x 2.2.2
(115, 125, 130 | 125, 135, 140 | 135, 145, 150#)
1:00 rest between mini-sets
3:00 rest between waves

3 Rounds | NFT
Single arm OH walking lunges x10 ea. (26# KB)
:30 rest
Chinese row x8 ea. (26# KB)
:30 rest
Ring push-ups x8-10
1:00 rest

Elongate | 20:00

Back squat felt great! It has only taken me three years to grasp the concept that just because your ass can go to the grass doesn’t mean you should let it. At least on back squat. When I bottom out, I loose all that glorious torque. Now that the hip is feeling good again, it was nice to be able to put some weight on the barbell and get a feeling for where I need to stop – finding my bottom. Oh there it is!

there it is

 I digress. Everything (in the workout) felt solid. Concentrated on moving well on the lunges, keeping the glutes and trunk engaged and not letting my ass stick out. The row and ring push-ups felt solid, too. No shoulder pain.

Thus far I am enjoying the Source Organic protein powder; it blends really easily and doesn’t have a nasty taste. Made some protein waffles with it this morning and man they were good. I used a banana instead of applesauce and added some blueberries. So fancy.


Barbell PSA

“Maturity is realizing how many things don’t require your comment.” -Rachel Wolchin

Friendly PSA
Whatever, Rachel.

Less of a comment and more of a PSA…

Coming off a performance of Grace, the ‘Too Fast To Care’ and ‘Ghost Rider’ segments seem particularly applicable. A bouncing barbell doesn’t make you a badass nor does it make you move faster (on the contrary you waste time retrieving it). It does however, make you look like (a) you do not know what you are doing and/or (b) an asshole. And who needs another asshole, really?

29 Oct | Pumpday

Foam Rollering | 10:00

Training | 4×5 DB bench press @ 13X1 (30# DBs)
3:00 rest btwn sets
– then –
15:00 TGUs alternating sides (35, 44# KBs)

Stretch | 20:00

The bench felt strong, maybe too easy so I tried using the 35# KBs and that didn’t go well. So, I stuck with the DBs and by the last set they were challenging. The TGUs felt strong. I can tell my mechanics are differnt from one side to the other. I tried to focus on mimicing what I was doing on my left when I got to my right. The right flexor, or whatever the deeper muscles behind it is, are sore.

Posting my macro breakdown makes me feel like I should be strapped to an elliptical, slathered in bronzer and hunting for the perfect rhinestone bikini.

My Pal 10-29
29 October 2014


Pumpkin & Porn

First things first. Hello, October…

come at me fall
But no fucking pumpkin coffee. We’ve gone over this…

Secondly, I recognize that not everything requires my comment. However, this is my blog so I’m gonna do it anyway. Can we all just agree: one shall not hashtag one’s training/sport/lifting photos or videos with ‘beastmode’ if said content has shitty ass form? Actually, can we just establish to never hashtag ANYTHING ‘beastmode’ going forward? Yes. That’s better.

rant 01

And onto the porn. On his latest episode, Robb Wolf of the Paleo Solution Podcast speaks with Gary Wilson, author of the new book, Your Brain on Porn. In a similar way that hyper-palatable food has lead to obesity, could internet porn be causing erectile dysfunction? Take a listen to this fascinating conversation for yourself. (And step away from “the machine”…)

01 October | Wednesday

4 Sets:
Wide Grip Bench Press x 5 reps (65, 75, 80, 80#)
1:00 Rest
Single Arm DB Rows x 8 ea. (25#)
2:00 Rest
AD x 1:00 (Totally forgot this component #beastmode)
– then –
AD 30/30’s
5:00 @ nice and easy
10:00 @ :30 sprint, :30 easy spin
5:00 @ easy spin

Spent a good chunk of time on the foam roller to start today’s session in the gymnasium. According to the anatomy charts online, I am pretty sore in my adductor magnus, latissimus dorsi, teres major, and infraspinatus today. In layman’s terms, my butt and armpits hurt.

The wide grip bench felt good. Matty Ice gave me some good cues about keeping my shoulders down and that helped alot. How many times must one be told… shoulders down and back? Dumbell rows felt good, strong. Totally whiffed the devil’s bicycle in that first portion of the workout…

Thirty-thirty’s were painful and hard. I am feeling like I’ve got zero aerobic base. I’m sure some of that is getting back into the swing of things after a long weekend off and such (maybe that whole rehab thing), but I really want to work on that. I had forgotten what it feels like for such things to be really hard. I will be sore from this tomorrow.

I slept like crap last night; I went to bed way too late.



So it’s been one of those weeks. The kind where you interact with a person(s) who may just be missing their brain, or at least part of it. A person that makes you question…

It’s fitting then that Friday’s Five Things are ones that make absolutely no sense:

1. Pumpkin Spice Lattes – Why you fuckin’ up your espresso with some fake pumpkin flavoring, mang? If you must, get a Dirty Chai instead; it’s fun to order and your barista will still respect you tomorrow.

2. Naming your vehicle* – It’s a car, not a dog. It already has a model name and isn’t gonna come when you call it.*

3. “Egg White” anything – Why toss the best part of the egg?  And Egg Beaters? That’s squint level stupidity.

4. “Three-Ingredient” recipes on Pinterest – If the ingredients have ingredients you need to try that math again.

5. Rompers. And underwear with center seams – Ladies, am I right???

*Unless you have this.

 12 Sept | Friday

– Recovery and Fat-Burning Workout –

30:00 rotating:

3:00 AirDyne

2:00 Row

1:00 Fwd-leaning rest + side plank (alternating)

Feeling better than yesterday, which I have coined “Confessional Thursday” due the mind-dump of a post. I am having some discomfort with the piriformis and tightness in my lower back, but the time at the gymnasium  this afternoon helped out tremendously. My barbell ‘resurgence” may just have to be more of a crescendo than a surge.




If the new iPhones get any larger I’m reverting back to this method for supplying the soundtrack when I go for a run:

the next iPhone

Who am I kidding – I don’t run.

11 Sept | Thursday

– Rest/PT Rant Day – 



Put in some Z1 miles walking the dog this morning and did some stretching and “PT exercises” this evening. I’m still pretty sore from this week’s workouts and while I know a majority of the discomfort is just your standard post-workout muscle soreness, there are a few spots that I know aren’t that. I am feeling frustrated that with all my PT sessions (there were 20 of them) I never really found out definitively what the problem was/is. Nor do I think I have completely resolved the issue. So, if I don’t know what was wrong, how can I address the incorrect movement pattern so I don’t just keep this cycle going? Psoas, sacrum, glute medius, piriformis syndrome, adductor tendinopathy, trigger points, blah, blah, blah…

What DO I know? I know that I have a pretty significant anterior pelvic tilt. Maybe I can start there. And here. Sometimes I feel like the more I learn about all this, the more I have to fix.




 10 Sept | Wednesday

4 Rounds:
KB bench press x10; right into (26# KB)
Banded rows X 10 reps ea. arm (red band)
3:00 rest


3×10 Press (50# For reals. All sets. Last set I failed around rep 8)
2:00 rest between sets


3 Rounds:
L-sit x15-20s 
30s rest
50 DU’s
90s rest


Yay! Yay! I get to train today – squats!

And by Wednesday:

I can’t do a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. My muscles are g-o-n-e.

The first portion of Wednesday’s workout went smoothly. I really like the KB bench because it demonstrates my weaknesses. On my left side I can press all day. On my right side, the last two reps are challenging to complete with good form. Also, it still amazes me how cracking the walnut/engaging the glutes makes me press more. Crazy.

The second segment sucked. I felt so weak! I’ve heard, and am hoping it’s not an urban legend, that your body remembers the level of fitness you had achieved and that makes it easier to “come back”. I can’t seem to locate any science to speak on that, but if Matty Ice says it’s so, it must be true.

In last part of the workout my L-sits were more like like Z-sits as I did them bent-leg – my quads were having none of this straight leg business. But hey, I can still do double-unders!